9 Months Pregnant

Today I weighed in at 209 lbs. I’m 5’ 4”.

I’m eager to feel normal again but not worried about my ability to lose the weight. I’ve been pondering my upcoming weightloss journey, especially this month. Before we get into that I’m going to complain just a tiny bit about being fat.

No woman likes being called fat. To imagine that a pregnant girl with raging hormones and extra sensitivity would like being called fat is completely insane. I’m not having twins. I fear for the next person who asks me.

For the first two trimesters I was super healthy, walked for 30-60 minutes per day plus climbed 4-5 flights of stairs at least three times a day at work. Then the pandemic hit. A lot of people have gained weight sheltering in place. I’ve gained 40 lbs! Mostly this happened because I totally stopped exercising and I’ve eaten freely. What’s done is done. My baby is fine and I’m going to have a natural birth. But I have some weight to lose once my tenant vacates.

Because I’ve tried so many diets in the past and have had success with them, it’s hard to choose which to do. I’ll be breastfeeding so I have the added consideration of what’s best for my baby and what aids lactation. I’m right now looking at a low calorie diet that’s paleo-ish but with oats and barley. As long as I count my calorie intake and usage, drink tons of water, and breastfeed, I know I can lose the weight. I would really like to be super hot by Christmas. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, I’m having a baby soon. I’ve wanted a daughter since my aunt told me her life long goals were to have a daughter and go to Egypt and she achieved both. My baby Carmen is going to be so awesome, I can’t wait to know her.

Love, Dana

Photo by Laura Mooney, The Best Days of Your Life Photography Studio

The Lingering Ten

These last ten pounds have been very  hard to take off. I started at 177.7 and have stably hung around 133-135. I did reach my goal weight of 127.6 for about a day, but I drank a glass of water and took a few deep breaths and bounced back to the 130’s. 

Any fat girl gone skinny can tell you the weight that has been on the longest, the “old fat”, is the most difficult to take off. It’s like my body has accepted this fat as part of who I am! But it’s not me! I’m ready to lose these lingering ten! 

The Game Plan

1. I’ve decided that this last ten pounds is NOT supposed to be on my body. 

2. Started the HCG diet and am now on the second day of Phase 2, or as I affectionately refer to it, “starvation”. 

3. I’m doing booty and core workouts to avoid the “thin girl in a large fleshy skin-suit” look. So gross. 

I should get down to 125 lbs by June 14th. May all my jeans feel loose. 

To find out more about the HCG diet see my post The Secret.  I do not sell the stuff, just giving advice. 

Life is easier for a thin girl. Try it. 

Love, Dana 

Juice Cleanse?

My idea of dieting over the holidays was doomed for failure and I did fail. No regrets. On the upside I feel a little tighter since my skin has stretched to accommodate the eight pounds of fat I’ve packed on. In an effort to feel healthy again, I’m trying a juice cleanse.

My friend recently sold me his slightly used Vitamix for eighty bucks and it’s awesome, but I decided to use my knockoff Nutribullet for this project to make several different small juices rather than lots of the same. I bought prepackaged baby kale, baby spinach, a giant cucumber, pre-sliced pineapples, mangos and some celery and blackberries. I had leftover homemade cranberry-orange sauce in the fridge as well as chia seeds.

I’m drinking these four juices tomorrow. They will amount to:
1 pound of kale
4 celery stocks
1 English cucumber
15 blackberries
15 cranberries
8 tbsp chia seeds
2 pineapple spears
1/2 cup fresh squeezed orange juice

I should feel pretty damn healthy. I’ll pack a banana just in case I need something solid for all the taxi driving and house cleaning on the agenda. Here’s to health!

Love, Dana

Update: Here’s how it went. I ended up consuming all the smoothies and banana by 1pm. Somewhere in there I ate 1 donut hole and 3/4 a plain cake donut. Donuts are my kryptonite. I also ate two of those little rectangular Hershey’s with crisp rice in them, a sesame breadstick and about seven peanut butter stuffed pretzel bites. For dinner I had two pieces of bacon with an egg and about three normal person servings of the green bean casserole I made (from scratch!) for Christmas. Thanks to the fiber and especially the chia seeds, I think all of Christmas evacuated my body. In all I lost 1.5 pounds and I feel cleaner and healthier. It turned out to be a healthy way to replenish the nutrients I needed and discard the garbage. I highly recommend it.
Love, D

Winter Weight and the Unthinkable

This is how I’ve gained nearly ten pounds in three months:
1. I learned how to make perfect pancakes
2. It’s raining
3. I’m tired
4. A crazy idea that “I won’t gain weight”
5. Chocolate at work
6. My boyfriend gets adorably enthusiastic when I make a good meal
7. I’ve been oversleeping and taking cabs instead of walking
8. My job changed to more sedentary work
9. I hate running on wet streets
10. My internet isn’t hooked up so I can’t do the videos

Expectedly, I don’t feel as good as I did three months ago. It’s time to change!

In Dec 2012, I weighed in at 177.7lbs.
This summer, I got down to 128.8lbs.
Now I’m around 135.
My goal weight is 127.6lbs.

Considering where I started, I’m very close to my goal weight. I think I’m going to attempt the impossible and diet over Christmas. Yes, you read me.

I AM DIETING OVER CHRISTMAS.

I have spent thirty Christmases stuffing my face. I just don’t need it anymore.

Join the rebellion. Diet over Christmas.

Shrink Wrap Shrinks Fat

I’ve seen several of these magical body wraps on Instagram and Pinterest. You may have heard of the Belly Bandit for postpartum belly reconstruction. There are many variations of body wraps, but basically they’re bandages or Saran Wrap tightly wrapped around the belly (or any trouble area) to tighten the skin and shrink fat. I tried it last night. It worked. I didn’t take before and after measurements, but I took pictures and saw results. Please pardon my heaps of (clean) laundry and shoes in the pictures.

Step 0. Drink a liter or two of water throughout this cycle. Drink a liter before the exercise step and as much as you need during and after exercise.

Step 1. Rub TONS of lotion onto the belly. I used Jergens Skin Firming lotion. Once it’s soaked in, add another two layers so it’s really globbed on there like monster venom.

Step 2. Roll Saran Wrap around the waist tightly. You want to breathe, but consider it a homemade plastic girdle.

Step 3. My plastic kept riding up with my fat bulging out at the hips so I taped all the way around the top and bottom with packing tape.

Step 4. Put a bunch of clothes on top. I pulled my exercise pants way up and put on a t-shirt, sweatshirt and sport jacket.

Step 5. Do sweaty exercise for 45 minutes. I did 45 on the stationary bike and was dripping sweat.

Step 6. Remove the shrink wrap by cutting down the middle, the way paramedics remove shirts. It will be very sweaty and gross with globs of lotion rolling off. You might want to do this part in the bathroom. Then scrub the hell out of your body in the shower.

Next time I’m doing my thighs and arms too. I might try the neck. According to an article I read, the heat and penetrating lotion loosen up fat. I guess that’s how it works. Sweating is always a good thing in my book. My stomach stayed flat all day. Some girls use mud instead of lotion, others add lemon juice, tea tree oil, cayenne pepper and other ingredients. I might try some of those if I get adventurous and willing to wash a bowl. This was the fastest belly shrinkage I’ve experienced. It took less than an hour. Shrink wrap.

Love, Dana

I Cooked

I just cooked two cauliflower pizzas and three stuffed bell peppers. Low fat, low carb, low sugar and diabetic friendly for my big bro.

Cauliflower pizza
2 cups grated cauliflower
2 cups mozzarella
2 eggs
Minced garlic to taste
Thoroughly combine and form into a flat dense circle on parchment paper. Bake at 450 for 15 min. Add whatever sauce and toppings you want and bake another 10 min.

Stuffed bell peppers
1/2 lb ground turkey fully cooked
5 small chopped zucchini
1 1/2 cup jarred marinara sauce
1 cup barely steamed broccoli
1 cup barely steamed cauliflower
Sprinkles of cheese
And of course three large or four small bell peppers
Combine and stuff into hollowed peppers. Bake peppers standing upright at 350 for 15 min. There will be leftover stuffing that you can store in fridge or eat immediately because you’re awesome.

Love,
Dana

Loose Skin

I’ve been meaning to write up what I did to lose all that weight. There is a bigger work in progress, but for now I’ll give you some tips on what most interests me at this point of the weight loss journey.

Loose skin.

If you’ve lost a good amount of weight in a short period of time, whether from child birth or getting fit, you’re most likely burdened with loose skin. Loose skin is flabby and unattractive. While it’s better than being chubby, something can and should be done about it.
When I decided to tighten my skin I considered how I tightened other parts of my body. For example to tighten my legs, I had to USE my legs by running and biking. So, how do I USE MY SKIN?

Skin has three basic functions:
Purging (sweating)
Regenerating
Absorbing

I concluded that to tighten my skin I would have to EXERCISE MY SKIN. That meant I had to sweat as much as possible, get my skin to rapidly regenerate and give it something to absorb.

How to sweat:
First of all, drink lots of water. The body is like a washing machine. Water swishes around your body and in the “rinse cycle” it purges toxins from the pores. Would you want to use the same water over and over again to wash your clothes? I didn’t think so. And besides that, without adding clean water and so much water leaving the body on a regular basis, you’d eventually be “washing your clothes” in a shallow pool of concentrated dirty water. Get the picture?
You should take your weight in pounds, divide by two and then drink that many ounces of water per day. I shoot for about 70 oz. per day; when I started my weight loss journey I was drinking 90 oz. per day.
The way I sweat is by exercising hardcore in lots of clothes. I wear a sports bra, tight tank top, leggings, pants, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt and long sport socks. So basically my body is tightly wrapped with thick insulation. When I jog, I do the first minute at a comfortable pace and very rapidly boost up to a sprint with all my might for about two to three minutes. That heats me up and gets my heart racing and sweat flowing. Once I get tired I reduce speed to a level that I am able to stably maintain for thirty minutes. After thirty minutes I like to walk for five and then stretch. When I can’t jog I use the stationary bike indoors and follow the same method- one minute comfortable, about three super-powered and thirty at a stable speed. The idea is to make your body work. If you’re not sweating beads, you’re not working hard enough and need to move faster. Sweating keeps facial pores clear. It seems to contribute to healthier hair too with the natural oils flowing and so forth.

How to regenerate your skin:
Skin is constantly shedding and regenerating. To make it regenerate faster it needs to shed faster. Exfoliate. I thoroughly exfoliate my entire body daily in the shower. I use a scratchy fiber pad and Doctor Bronner’s Magic Soap. Other soaps are probably fine but I like the Dr. Bronner’s stuff because it isn’t oily and it makes my skin literally squeaky clean. It’s at Target for about fifteen bucks or Trader Joe’s for about ten. So you’ll want to put a good amount of soap on the scratchy fiber pad and scrub the $h*t out of your entire body (minus face). I scrub to the point just before it would hurt. Scrub the flabbiest areas extra well. When you’re done scrubbing from jaw to toes, you’ll feel so fresh, like your skin can breathe. I tend to have dry skin on my face so I use a gentle cleanser made by Clean & Clear. The loose skin on my face isn’t a huge concern for me but I have exfoliated with this sandy stuff from Mary Kay and it helped. By the way, if you’re a shaver, do the exfoliating before shaving.

Absorb:
I looked into a bunch of different products for skin firming, stretch marks, etc. Truth is any lotion will work for this. The point is to EXERCISE the skin’s natural function to absorb. I use Jergens Skin Firming Lotion. I like it. I was originally using regular Lubriderm and my skin did feel more elastic and nice. The Jergens stuff hits a home run with tightening. I don’t know how it works or why or how toxic it is, but it really tightens the skin. When I get out of the shower I get my skin super dry. I also evacuate the steamy bathroom to a dry place. That’s when I slather on ridiculous amounts of the lotion from jaw line to ankles. I put it on thickly, about one full-press squirt per calf to give you an idea. Once that’s mostly absorbed, I apply a second coat to the really flabby areas. As a tip, if you want tighter breasts, slap on tons of this stuff not only on the “nice parts” but also on the chest and collar area above. That’s the skin that lifts the boobies so of course you want it tight.

If you do this routine everyday you’ll see results. I saw results after the second day. Exercise alone will tighten you up, but the skin itself needs to be exercised. Try this out. One thing that’s kind of weird is when I scrub off the Jergens stuff from the previous day, it somehow reacts with the Dr. Bronner’s stuff and turns my scrubby pad blue. It washes out, but it’s weird. Again I warn you I don’t know how toxic the Jergens is. Speaking of toxins, don’t apply Jergens to the under arms. For one thing it stings after shaving there. More importantly it is vital to keep the armpits open to breathe when you can. I do this whole routine at night and let the pits breathe until I slap on antiperspirant in the morning.
I hope this helps! I’ll post more on how I actually lost the weight later. And I might sprinkle in a few fat girl stories too.
Love, Dana