The Lingering Ten

These last ten pounds have been very  hard to take off. I started at 177.7 and have stably hung around 133-135. I did reach my goal weight of 127.6 for about a day, but I drank a glass of water and took a few deep breaths and bounced back to the 130’s. 

Any fat girl gone skinny can tell you the weight that has been on the longest, the “old fat”, is the most difficult to take off. It’s like my body has accepted this fat as part of who I am! But it’s not me! I’m ready to lose these lingering ten! 

The Game Plan

1. I’ve decided that this last ten pounds is NOT supposed to be on my body. 

2. Started the HCG diet and am now on the second day of Phase 2, or as I affectionately refer to it, “starvation”. 

3. I’m doing booty and core workouts to avoid the “thin girl in a large fleshy skin-suit” look. So gross. 

I should get down to 125 lbs by June 14th. May all my jeans feel loose. 

To find out more about the HCG diet see my post The Secret.  I do not sell the stuff, just giving advice. 

Life is easier for a thin girl. Try it. 

Love, Dana 


Juice Cleanse?

My idea of dieting over the holidays was doomed for failure and I did fail. No regrets. On the upside I feel a little tighter since my skin has stretched to accommodate the eight pounds of fat I’ve packed on. In an effort to feel healthy again, I’m trying a juice cleanse.

My friend recently sold me his slightly used Vitamix for eighty bucks and it’s awesome, but I decided to use my knockoff Nutribullet for this project to make several different small juices rather than lots of the same. I bought prepackaged baby kale, baby spinach, a giant cucumber, pre-sliced pineapples, mangos and some celery and blackberries. I had leftover homemade cranberry-orange sauce in the fridge as well as chia seeds.


I’m drinking these four juices tomorrow. They will amount to:
1 pound of kale
4 celery stocks
1 English cucumber
15 blackberries
15 cranberries
8 tbsp chia seeds
2 pineapple spears
1/2 cup fresh squeezed orange juice

I should feel pretty damn healthy. I’ll pack a banana just in case I need something solid for all the taxi driving and house cleaning on the agenda. Here’s to health!

Love, Dana

Update: Here’s how it went. I ended up consuming all the smoothies and banana by 1pm. Somewhere in there I ate 1 donut hole and 3/4 a plain cake donut. Donuts are my kryptonite. I also ate two of those little rectangular Hershey’s with crisp rice in them, a sesame breadstick and about seven peanut butter stuffed pretzel bites. For dinner I had two pieces of bacon with an egg and about three normal person servings of the green bean casserole I made (from scratch!) for Christmas. Thanks to the fiber and especially the chia seeds, I think all of Christmas evacuated my body. In all I lost 1.5 pounds and I feel cleaner and healthier. It turned out to be a healthy way to replenish the nutrients I needed and discard the garbage. I highly recommend it.
Love, D

Winter Weight and the Unthinkable

This is how I’ve gained nearly ten pounds in three months:
1. I learned how to make perfect pancakes
2. It’s raining
3. I’m tired
4. A crazy idea that “I won’t gain weight”
5. Chocolate at work
6. My boyfriend gets adorably enthusiastic when I make a good meal
7. I’ve been oversleeping and taking cabs instead of walking
8. My job changed to more sedentary work
9. I hate running on wet streets
10. My internet isn’t hooked up so I can’t do the videos

Expectedly, I don’t feel as good as I did three months ago. It’s time to change!

In Dec 2012, I weighed in at 177.7lbs.
This summer, I got down to 128.8lbs.
Now I’m around 135.
My goal weight is 127.6lbs.

Considering where I started, I’m very close to my goal weight. I think I’m going to attempt the impossible and diet over Christmas. Yes, you read me.


I have spent thirty Christmases stuffing my face. I just don’t need it anymore.

Join the rebellion. Diet over Christmas.


I’m Turning 30

I’m not afraid of turning 30. I don’t like the gray hair or neck wrinkles, but I don’t really look or feel “old.” When I was younger I thought I would get so much done by 30. I was sure I’d have two kids, and of course I’d be married. I was sure I would own a home. I was sure I would at least drive a nice car. But here I am at 29.83, still living like a 19 year old.

I’ve set some new goals- goals I can achieve within exactly two months.
1. Save money
This means having money in my bank account after bills day.
2. Get hotter
This means losing those last ten pounds, tightening up my booty and waist and upgrading my skin care regimen.

I suspended my weightloss journey several months ago at 133/135 pounds. And yes, I have kept it off. It’s all about burning more than consuming. I don’t particularly restrict consumption, I just pay attention to my body’s signals for fullness or too much sugar, etc., and halt when it feels unhealthy. I ate a large Snickers bar last night. Felt great.

Here’s the game plan:
1. Lose 15 lbs on the HCG diet by September 16th.
2. After that, intense exercise until October 16th while consuming 2 liters of water daily and doing regular skinny wraps on my waist, thighs, arms and neck.
3. October 17th is the big day. I’ll celebrate by wearing something skin tight (alone in my home) and stare at my accomplishment in the mirror. Don’t judge- any lifelong chubby girl who loses 50 pounds has earned the right to stare.

Wish me luck. Get the details on the HCG diet in my earlier post called “The Secret” and details on skinny wraps are in “Shrink Wrap Shrinks Fat.”

No matter what, I’m proud of how far I’ve come by 30. I have the best friends I could ask for. My family is closer than ever. I love my parents. They are brave and tough and kind.

I’m excited to enter adulthood. I think I can make it.



Forming a Figure

I’ve been stalled around 135lbs for several months now. But I have come to terms with being a size 6. Forty-three pounds ago I thought fitting into an 8 was an unrealistic fantasy! My new fantasy is to rock a perfectly flat belly with some ab lines, but not over the top and increase the dents between my leg muscles so they become visible to the naked eye. And tighten my arms and hips. I have a family reunion next month and while my family doesn’t care if I’m fat, skinny, smelly or alien, I want to wear a bikini so I can tan the midsection.

Experimenting with different exercises, I’ve come upon some useful data. There are certain exercises that will puff up the body, some that will slim it down and some that just suck.

Puff it up:
Puffing up requires expanding muscles through high resistance strength training. This is the key to a beautiful butt. Unfortunately, strength training can also puff up areas we don’t want puffy, like the belly. Strength training in the abs increases the size of your belly. The phenomenon is no different from bicep curls making the biceps bigger; bicep curls do not make arms smaller. If your belly (or whatever) is already thin, by all means strengthen it. Any strength training that creates an intense burning or gentle tearing in the muscle is essentially causing it to expand and get more buff. I learned this the hard way. My abs are really tight and ripped – just below this thick layer of fat that keeps hanging around. In fact the fat layer seems to protrude more than it used to because its base is further out, atop the now expanded abs. First world problems. Strength training combined with slimming exercises and dieting will handle this.

Slim it down:
Low resistance motion for some duration burns fat without puffing up the muscles. Heat the body and fat will melt. Run on flat land rather than uphill. The greater resistance up hill is enough to tear/expand muscle. Low or no resistance stationary bikes are great, elliptical machines are great, jumping jacks are great, Zumba is amazing. The goal is to heat the body and sweat without ripping yourself.

Exercises that suck:
Any activity is better than none, but if you don’t feel your muscles tightening, they aren’t tightening. To see fast results, push your body to feel tired and sore as these are indications of change. Also remember that the more fit you become, the more strenuously you must exercise to create change. Walking while you weigh 150lbs is less of a workout than when you carried around 170lbs. To defeat soreness, drink tons of water. CalMag (a calcium-magnesium drink) helps too.

Find your happy medium:
Most of us want tight arms, legs and waists with nice round breasts and butts. The most ground I’ve made on this was by jockeying strength (in the back, legs and butt) with low resistance cardio. What I recommend is “Ninja Running.” It’s a combination of running, then jogging up and down hills and on flat ground. Start off on flat ground, maybe around a city park. Jog for a couple minutes to warm up the body. Sprint for about five minutes with all your might then reduce to a comfortable jogging speed once you start sweating. To speed up the heating process, wear tight clothes with additional thick clothes on top such as spandex pants and a tank under sweats. Hoodies are great to make your face sweat. After about ten minutes of steady jogging on flat ground, head for the hills. San Francisco is the best for Ninja Running. When you run uphill, try kicking your own butt with each heel. It really tightens up the lower back, butt and hamstrings. Always maintain good posture in exercise. When you get back to flat ground, jog normally. Going down hill, do high-knees. That means pull each knee up so your thigh is perpendicular to your torso. You’ll be moving pretty slow and might look dumb, but the high-knees make going downhill easier on your joints and tighten the lower abdomen. I’m not going to lie, I love showing off my butt-kicks and high-knees as I cruise past doormen and trolleys. The fact of someone watching encourages me to kick my own butt all the way up the block.

I hope this helps!

Love, Dana

P.S. Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. I love my mom. She’s fun, kind, beautiful and she’s mine.


Shrink Wrap Shrinks Fat

Shrink Wrap Shrinks Fat

I’ve seen several of these magical body wraps on Instagram and Pinterest. You may have heard of the Belly Bandit for postpartum belly reconstruction. There are many variations of body wraps, but basically they’re bandages or Saran Wrap tightly wrapped around the belly (or any trouble area) to tighten the skin and shrink fat. I tried it last night. It worked. I didn’t take before and after measurements, but I took pictures and saw results. Please pardon my heaps of (clean) laundry and shoes in the pictures.

Step 0. Drink a liter or two of water throughout this cycle. Drink a liter before the exercise step and as much as you need during and after exercise.

Step 1. Rub TONS of lotion onto the belly. I used Jergens Skin Firming lotion. Once it’s soaked in, add another two layers so it’s really globbed on there like monster venom.
Step 2. Roll Saran Wrap around the waist tightly. You want to breathe, but consider it a homemade plastic girdle.
Step 3. My plastic kept riding up with my fat bulging out at the hips so I taped all the way around the top and bottom with packing tape.
Step 4. Put a bunch of clothes on top. I pulled my exercise pants way up and put on a t-shirt, sweatshirt and sport jacket.
Step 5. Do sweaty exercise for 45 minutes. I did 45 on the stationary bike and was dripping sweat.

Step 6. Remove the shrink wrap by cutting down the middle, the way paramedics remove shirts. It will be very sweaty and gross with globs of lotion rolling off. You might want to do this part in the bathroom. Then scrub the hell out of your body in the shower.
Next time I’m doing my thighs and arms too. I might try the neck. According to an article I read, the heat and penetrating lotion loosen up fat. I guess that’s how it works. Sweating is always a good thing in my book. My stomach stayed flat all day. Some girls use mud instead of lotion, others add lemon juice, tea tree oil, cayenne pepper and other ingredients. I might try some of those if I get adventurous and willing to wash a bowl. This was the fastest belly shrinkage I’ve experienced. It took less than an hour. Shrink wrap.

Love, Dana